Dec 31, 2020
About two years ago, I had a special privilege to interview a renowned Pastor, Inspirational Coach, Author and Business Consultant: Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole.
Curious, I decided to reach out to him on the motivation behind this rare, but powerful title. The result was this interesting interview. Enjoy.
“Surviving betrayal” what was your motivation for writing this book, sir?
The motivation behind this book is my realization that everyone gets betrayed but only a few survive it.
“The question is never ‘will I be betrayed’ but ‘do I know enough to bounce back from betrayal’? – Anonymous.
The truth is, nobody can teach you how to avoid betrayal, you can only be taught how to survive it.
‘BETRAY’. The word is an eighth of an inch above ‘betroth’ in the dictionary, but a world from betroth in life. It’s a weapon found only in the hands of the one you love. Your enemy has no such tool, for only a friend can betray. Betrayal is mutiny. It’s a violation of trust, always an inside job.” – Max Lucado
Nobody is immune from betrayal, it is either you have been betrayed or you are being betrayed or you will be betrayed.
In explaining how betrayal affects you in chapter 3 I wrote,
BETRAYAL MAKES YOU FEEL STUPID AND DOUBT YOURSELF
“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” David Levithan (The Lover’s Dictionary).
Betrayal leads to self-doubt. You will keep wondering on why you have been so ‘seemingly’ stupid enough to have trusted and failed to discern the disloyalty.
Perhaps you’ve heard the story about the little swallow. It was covering one eye with its wing and crying bitterly. An owl flew by and asked, “Little bird, what’s wrong?” The swallow pulled away its wing and showed a gash where once it had an eye. “Now I understand,” hooted the owl, blinking, “You’re crying because the crow pecked out your eye!” “No,” replied the bird sadly, “I’m not crying because the crow pecked out my eye; I’m crying because I let him.”
You are likely to have forgotten that hindsight is always perfect and that people wiser, greater and more spiritual than you have also experienced betrayal at one point or the other.
What are the major highlights of in this book?
This book gives insights into the following and more:
- Understanding betrayal
Here I explained the 5 kinds of betrayal.
- 5 worst betrayal stories of all times
- Why betrayal hurts
- 5 reasons why betrayal hurts, why many keep crying, lamenting etc for years after the act.
- Why people betray
- 10 various reasons why people betray from nurture to nature and everything in between Surviving betrayal
- 3 definite proven tools to overcome betrayal
- What to do if you are the one that betrayed
- Then there’s a chapter for them that are the one that betrayed
WHENEVER I ANNOUNCE the topic of this book, people are always interested. They are quick to point out they have been betrayed before. I find it amusing that hardly do people confess they have betrayed others. Betrayal has two faces!
If many alive have been betrayed, it also means betrayers are equally many; hence the reason for this chapter. It is always great to study men that have walked the ways we are tending to trend and see how they end up.
The good book says
‘Those who betray their own friends leave a legacy of abuse to their children.’ Job 17:5.
Is betrayal a normal experience life?
It is so common. Here’s a powerful quotation by Sherrilyn Kenyon in Invincible.
“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.”
/be·tray·al bəˈtrāəl, bēˈtrāəl/ noun.
Betrayal is the action of betraying one’s country, a group, or a person. Synonyms: disloyalty, treachery, bad faith, faithlessness, falseness, duplicity, deception, double-dealing; breach of faith, breach of trust, stab in the back; double-cross, sell-out; perfidy.
Betrayal is everywhere. Betrayal in relationships. Betrayal in workplace. Betrayal in family. Betrayal in ministry. There are tales of acts of betrayal strewn all over and its stings hurt many years after it has taken place. Betrayal is as old as the earth though there seems to be greater increase in recent times.
What should readers expect from reading this book?
It is my attempt to make sure that betrayal does not destroy you. As I wrote in one of the chapters :
DON’T LET BETRAYAL DO THIS TO YOU
WHATEVER YOU COME in contact with has a way of rubbing off on you. Like some specially-concocted perfumes, their fragrance just wouldn’t wear off. They last and last and seem to ooze from your very breath. In the same way, having been betrayed, if great care is not taken; betrayal can leave negative indelible marks on your life.
Mimicking the pattern of Paul the Apostle’s letters; ‘I beseech you therefore brethren, not to allow betrayal do the under-listed to you’.
In another chapter I explained,
Do not let betrayal destroy you. It has destroyed many marital dreams, political ambitions, etc. Betrayal can either leave you bitter or better. The choice is yours. Even if betrayal has devastated your past or present, it must not be allowed to destroy your future. It’s time to draw the line between a betrayed past and a better future.
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Thank you, sir
You are welcome.
This book is available on Amazon, order your copy today, HERE
Meet the Interviewer
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Felix A. Duyilemi is a Greatness and Leadership Coach who specializes in helping people create extraordinary results by becoming aware of their infinite potential. He is the creator of the 1000X Results Coaching Program, a Coaching Program designed to skyrocket your results.
Felix A. Duyilemi has written over 15 books and given more than 5000 talks on subjects ranging from Success Ideation, Mindset, Leadership, and Potential Maximization. His latest book is “How to Monetize Your Brain.”
When he’s not learning, coaching, or speaking, he’s at home enjoying the company of his amazing family!
Reach him at [email protected]